Cheat Like Villains
by Suku17
Summary: The totally random life of the SHM you DIDN'T see in Advent Children. Card games, catfights, and an mentally scarred blonde hero!


**Completely random thing I came up with in Study Hall today... it sounded HILARIOUS in my head, but I could see the scene perfectly... oh well. Ha.. Cheat like Villains Go-Fish... BTW, that is copyright. Feel free to play it though, it goes on for hours. Something to do on a rainy day, I suppose. I'm ranting. **

* * *

"NO Kadaj. GO FRIGGIN' FISHING ALREADY!" Yazoo looked at Kadaj, highly irritated.

"Are you SURE you don't have any K-cards?" Kadaj looked at Yazoo. The older brother groaned and smacked a hand on his forehead. Kadaj smiled sheepishly. "Are you SURE, Yazzy-chan? Absotively Posolutely?" Kadaj gave Yazoo his best 'innocent kitten' look. Yazoo groaned again.

"Damn you Kadaj! Damn you and your kawaii-pout too!" Yazoo pulled a king out of his hand. They had been playing 'Cheat Like Villains Go-Fish' for the past four hours. Loz looked at his brothers from over his hand of cards. The three SHM looked at each other with a They-Are-All-Out-To-Get-Me look. Someone would lose in a few minutes in normal Go-Fish, but the point of this game was to NEVER give anyone your cards. You had to trick them into thinking you didn't have the card they needed. This game never ended for them. They had played it 19 hours STRAIGHT in Kalm while they were hiding, once.

"Okay, Yazoo, do you have any sevens?" Loz looked at his brother.

Yazoo grimaced. "Will you two ask each other for a change? No, I don't have any sevens." In fact, he had 3 sevens, 2 kings, and Ace and a Jack. "What are you staring at? Go fish!" Yazoo blew his long hair out of his eyes impatiently. "My turn. Hey Daajy, got any Queens?"

Kadaj looked at his hand. He had all four Queens, and he didn't want to give them up to Yazoo. Whoever had all sixteen of the 'royalty' cards won. (THat's Queens, Jacks, Kings, and Aces.) "No. Go fish, prettyboy." Kadaj looked at Yazoo.

" You liar!!!" Yazoo yelled. " You have ALL the Queens! You always do! Now hand them over you dirty liar!" Yazoo stared at Kadaj, his blood pressure rising. "You're lying!"

"Uh, yeah. That's the whole_ point, _Yazoo." Kadaj grinned evilly at his older brother. "Go fish."

"ARAGAAH!!! THAT IS IT!!!" Yazoo dropped his cards and leaped acros the circle they had formed and tackled Kadaj. The two rolled across the ground, their silver hair being coated in dirt and dust as they did so.

(Y) You always do that! GRAHH!!

(K) THAT'S THE POINT YAZOO!!! DEAR JENOVA, LAY OFF!!!

(Y) I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! YOU ALWAYS WIN YOU LiTTLE JERK!!!

(K) GET OFF!!!

(VincentValentine) WILL YOU SHUT UP?!?!

At this point the two stopped as the voice yelled. Loz looked at his brothers. Kadaj was pinned to the ground, Yazoo straddling his chest. Kadaj had a handful of Yazoo's long silver hair and Yazoo had a hand on Kadaj's forehead, pinning his whole head to the ground. All three of them turned to face Vincent VAlentine as he entered the clearing, his red cloak swirling.

"AHH!! If you're going to fight, just slit each others throats already!!!! For the love if Shiva..." The raven-haired man bent down and reached into Yazoo's backpack. "Do you have any aspirin?" A moment or two of complete silence followed and soon, "Great. Thanks." Vincent turned to leave the clearing. "What were you three playing, anyway?"

Yazoo and Kadaj remained in their catfight position, so Loz spoke up. "Cheat Like Villains Go-Fish! Do you wanna play?"

(K&Y) LOZ! NO!

Vincent looked at Loz, completely caught off guard. "Uhh.. sure. How do you play?"

(L) WEll first...

"Oh man... we're gonna get our ASSES kicked." Yazoo looked at Kadaj and then back at Vincent and Loz sitting Kindergarten-style in horror. "WE ARE DOOOOOOMED!!! ARGAHHGHGG!!!" (Yazoo fake dies) "Just like that." Yazoo looked up at Kadaj from the ground. He was on his back with one eye closed and his tongue hanging out in a mock-dead pose.

"Brother! I don't wanna die!!!!" Kadaj sat on the ground holding his knees to his chest sucking his thumb. "Don't wanna die don't wanna die don't wanna die..."

MEanwhile, Cloud looked down at the silver-haired men and Vincent. He surveyed the scene. He WAS going to abmush them, but now, he just wanted to shoot himself. "Everywhere... first Reno shoved chopsticks up his nose and got put in intensive care, then Tifa got yet ANOTHER boob job, now this. I need to get a hobby... or new friends... (sigh)" Cloud looked back at the obscene situation below and jumped out of the tree.

_**WILL THE NIGHTMARE NEVER CEASE????**_


End file.
